cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
