I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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