Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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