I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
