I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
