Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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