He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
