when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
