I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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