Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
