Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
