I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize