i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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