Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
