I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
