Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
