I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
