You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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