my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
