a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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