He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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