Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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