I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize