consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
