We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
