And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
