Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
