and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
