I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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