And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just had sex on a roof
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
