i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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