good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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