facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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