WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize