Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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