i just had sex bonerless
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
