it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I could fuck to npr.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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