Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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