That's intense
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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