Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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