So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
