How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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