Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
