I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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