Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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