D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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