Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
