no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
