Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
