my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
