I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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