we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
