Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
