She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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