I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
