I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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