we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
