she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
