I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
