hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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