i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
