he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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