Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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