OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the day after is always just damage control
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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