she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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