I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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