Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
