Yo dont text me then not text me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
BRING THE BAGELS
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
