Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
two words: eviction party
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
