Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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