So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
