just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
