i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
