Sponge bath it is.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
