He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
