shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
