Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize