I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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