he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
How's work?
Spinning.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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