Already got asked if we're dating
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
