Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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