Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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