Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
