honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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