I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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