The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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