What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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