You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
